Guest blogger: Getting to the Bottom of Things – Erotic Spanking 101 by Casea Major

Getting to the Bottom of Things – Erotic Spanking 101

and Gift Card Give Away

 

Thanks for dropping by. I’m Casea Major and am excited to be at BDSM Book Reviews today for a release PARTY of my first BDSM story – Night with a Dom.

In celebration, I’m giving away a $10 Gift Card to the winner’s choice of Amazon or Barnes and Noble. Leave a comment with your email for your chance to win.

——————————————————-

What is it about an erotic spanking that is so appealing?

There are as many different answers to that question as there are people.  For some it’s the exchange of power, for others the role-play, still for others it could be the actual sensation.

If you are interested in adding spanking to you sexual foreplay, consider what it is about the element of spanking that arouses you and what it is that may turn you off. Do research and talk to your partner. Ask lots of questions before you act. Make sure both Spanker and Spankee are on the same page. This is no time to be coy. Speak your mind. The more specific you are the better for you and your partner.

Some items to discuss:

Positioning – what is comfortable, what is not

Strength of spanks – pain tolerance 1-10 scale

Safe word – A predetermined word that serves to terminate the activity

Implements – Hand, belt/strap, paddle, cane, etc.

Role Play – setting the scene

After limits are negotiated there are several key elements to a good spanking that will enhance the experience.

The Spanker should

Set the stage – prepare the setting, implements and have a basic plan of action

Relax –a tense arm will tire more quickly and a rigid hand may end up more hurt than the behind it’s popping.

Start slow and light — try a few light test spanks, gradually increasing intensity

Always Pay Attention — to the signals of your partner.

 

The Spankee should

Allow the Spanker to take control.

Relax – a tense body is more likely to get hurt

Always communicate – communicate what is working and what isn’t and never be afraid to use your safe word

The basic components of a good spanking scene

Anticipation – Tell the spankee they are to receive punishment then make them wait for punishment they know is coming

Preparation/Presentation – Order the spankee to present him/herself in a particular way whether it is to put on or remove clothing, or to gather the implements, go to a particular location/room

Ritual – This is when the spanker can communicate how the spanking will take place and/or require the spankee to perform some ritual like kneeling or taking up their position

Punishment – After the spankee has taken their position, the punishment begins at the discretion of the Spanker

Aftercare – Can be anything from cuddling to sex but should be something that brings the couple closer together in a bonding experience.

More information about erotic spankings can be found at:

http://www.yourtango.com/20086453/spanking-for-beginners

http://sexsecretsblog.com/the-basics-of-erotic-spanking/

http://www.goodvibes.com/content.jhtml?id=how-to-spank

Night with a Dom  is available now at all major retailers and the Decadent website.

Melody Manning’s workaholic ambition, coupled with a slave-driving former boss, has made her the youngest market analyst in her firm. It’s also killed her personal life, including losing her fiancé. When she receives a message from him on New Year’s Eve announcing his engagement to another woman, Mel loses it. Her new, more compassionate boss has the perfect solution for her—get laid. Good and laid.

At his suggestion, she signs up with the 1Night Stand service, listing her deepest sexual desires on the application.  A speedy response from Madame Eve has Melody on her way to Sonoma Valley wine country and a one-night stand with a mysterious Dom.

The sexy, masked Master promises to get to the bottom of her guilt and provide ultimate satisfaction under the safety of his stern hand. After an emotional night of submission and uninhibited passion, will her lover’s unmasking lead to the end of their encounter or give Mel another chance at love?

Major Love ~~~ Major Romance

Prior to becoming a writer of romantic fiction, Casea Major worked in the legal field for a non-profit dispute resolution company for ten years.  She is now a full-time mom to three preschool children with whom she and her husband live happily…most of the time.  When she isn’t chained to her laptop, she enjoys Cary Grant movies and crocheting.

Website / Facebook / Twitter

 

 

 


53 Comments

  1. AM March 21, 2012 8:48 am  Reply

    Looks like I maybe just found my next book purchase!

  2. Brenda March 21, 2012 10:24 pm  Reply

    WHAT? It’s out now? Please tell me it is on amazon!

    LOL, wow, there sure are a lot of rules to spanking!

  3. tabitha March 21, 2012 10:47 pm  Reply

    Simple and to the point great entry. I will be looking up your book. Congrats!

  4. Lisa Kumar March 21, 2012 11:04 pm  Reply

    Great informative post, Casea! I look forward to reading your new release.

  5. MicheleANN oBOYLE March 21, 2012 11:05 pm  Reply

    congrats on your new book and my email address to save hassle and time is ANGELWOLFMYSTIC@YAHOO.COM

  6. antane March 22, 2012 12:04 am  Reply

    Looks like this is another I need to have!

  7. Na March 22, 2012 2:20 am  Reply

    Such a sassy title! Communication is key in pretty much anything :)

  8. Lindsey E March 22, 2012 3:19 am  Reply

    Very clear explanation of spanking play. I think I know who Melody gets to play with but I will have to read to find out.
    linze_e at hotmail.com

  9. rasia March 22, 2012 4:55 am  Reply

    liked the introduction to spanking, will definitely give it a try ;)

  10. Mary Preston March 22, 2012 5:56 am  Reply

    You certainly caught my attention. I know little on the subject, so most informative.

  11. Amy S. March 22, 2012 7:59 am  Reply

    Night with a Dom sounds great!

    amysmith98@ gmail.com

  12. Rhonda D March 22, 2012 8:28 am  Reply

    Thanks for the great insight on adding spanking to our own bedrooms. There were several things I hadn’t considered.
    The blurb and the book sound so yummy. I can’t wait to see who her DOM was. I love the 1NS series. Keep up the good work!
    slinkydennis at yahoo.com

  13. Monica March 22, 2012 8:29 am  Reply

    I’ve heard about the 1 Night Stand series of books and Night with a Dom sounds like the perfect first book to read in the series!
    mcv111 at hotmail(dot)com

  14. Cara Bristol March 22, 2012 8:49 am  Reply

    Spanking 101! Fun blog topic. Adding Night with a Dom to my TBR list.

  15. Christina Vanderford March 22, 2012 8:58 am  Reply

    Sounds like a good book. Spanking is hot.. thanks for the tips! christina_92 at yahoo.com

  16. Jennifer Lowery (Kamptner) March 22, 2012 8:58 am  Reply

    Definitely reading this one! Thanks for sharing! Think I’m too much of a control freak to ever let anyone—even my dh spank me—although he does enjoy it *wink*

  17. Savannah Miller March 22, 2012 10:28 am  Reply

    Well that was most likely the best advice I ever got ;) Can’t wait to read this, great post!!

  18. Marika Weber March 22, 2012 11:13 am  Reply

    Great advice and thanks for the links.

    Marika

  19. Patti P March 22, 2012 11:18 am  Reply

    Wow. I am glad I found this. It is one I have to read.
    musicalfrog at comcast.net

  20. Katy Beth McKee March 22, 2012 12:10 pm  Reply

    Looks like a great book. Love to read about the spankings just can’t get my husband to really give it try. kbmckee at mail dot com

  21. Nikki March 22, 2012 12:52 pm  Reply

    wow!! I love DOM books! The premise just sounds so sexy! A masked stranger..just yummy!!
    viajeradelmar@aol.com

  22. Fedora March 22, 2012 3:23 pm  Reply

    Great post, Casea! The book sounds intriguing, and the tips, too ;)

  23. Fedora March 22, 2012 3:25 pm  Reply

    Oh, and it sounds like communication is key in this type of play (as it seems in other BDSM as well)!

    f dot chen at comcast dot net

  24. DawnM March 22, 2012 4:10 pm  Reply

    well thought out post, Casea. I’ve always thought that the psychological element makes things more intense.

    murphy [dot] dawn [at] gmail [dot] com

  25. Krystal Shannan March 22, 2012 5:35 pm  Reply

    Sounds just up my alley! Putting it near the top of my TBR pile. The info on the spanking was good too *wink*.

  26. Melissa Limoges March 22, 2012 6:36 pm  Reply

    Very nice interview! :)

  27. Jenna Jaxon March 22, 2012 7:13 pm  Reply

    Your guide to the “perfect” spanking is awesome, Casea. LOL Still not sure I want my derriere heated, though. But your book can warm my Kindle anytime. Great post and a great read.

    Congrats on your release!
    Jenna
    1jennajaxon@gmail.com

  28. Toni Kelly March 22, 2012 7:25 pm  Reply

    Love the post, very funny! As for the book, this premise sounds super interesting. Looking forward to reading it.

  29. Maggie O'Malley March 22, 2012 7:53 pm  Reply

    Great lesson.

  30. Sheri Fredricks March 22, 2012 10:09 pm  Reply

    I think I’ve learned all there is to know about spanking! LOL Best wishes on your release. Great post.

  31. Chris Bails March 22, 2012 10:40 pm  Reply

    Love Cesea’s books and am sure this is going to be just as good. I would love to win and read this book. Thanks for the giveaway.

  32. tammy ramey March 22, 2012 11:10 pm  Reply

    Hi Casea,
    thank you for the chance at such a great giveaway. Congratulations and i hope you have a happy release day.

    i love the cover and the book sounds wonderful,
    i can hardly wait to start reading. :D

    tammy ramey
    trvlagnt1t@yahoo.com

  33. Kathryn Merkel March 22, 2012 11:19 pm  Reply

    Thanks for the chance to win. As for whether I need a spanking, I plead the 5th.

    Kathryn
    drainbamaged.gyzmo at gmail.com

  34. Aine @ House Millar March 22, 2012 11:52 pm  Reply

    Great info/post and good luck with your release party :) Just love the cover.

    Congratz!

  35. Julianne March 23, 2012 1:43 am  Reply

    Very informative tips for the spanker and the spankee. Congrats on your release!
    Night With A Dom sounds like a great read.
    luvfuzzzeeefaces at yahoo dot com

  36. June March 23, 2012 3:36 am  Reply

    I would love to have a night with a Dom, LOL. Congrats on the release, I can’t wait to read this one.
    June
    manning_j2004 at yahoo dot com

  37. Jennifer Probst March 23, 2012 8:40 am  Reply

    Big congrats Casea – the story looks amazing and is on my to buy list! Love the post too, very informative!

  38. Nichelle Williams March 23, 2012 10:41 am  Reply

    Loved this post…can’t wait to read the new book Casea!

    Nothing like a sexy DOM to get you all heated up in so many ways.

    Good luck with this one and the others you will have in the future.
    Nichelle

    ebonysbbwnikki@yahoo.com

  39. Lucy Felthouse March 23, 2012 10:42 am  Reply

    This sounds like another super read from the 1NS series – congrats!!

    lucy at lucyfelthouse dot co dot uk

  40. Joanne B March 23, 2012 10:51 am  Reply

    Congrats on the new release. Great cover. Book sounds amazing. Can’t wait to read it.

    Joanne B
    e.balinski(at)att(dot)net

  41. Shadow March 23, 2012 10:53 am  Reply

    Congrats on your release! I love the sound of your book. I want it. A LOT! lol Sounds so dang good! Congrats to you and wishing you all the best! :)
    shadowluvs2read(at)gmail(dot)com

  42. Darcy March 23, 2012 12:13 pm  Reply

    Congrats on the new release, and I wish you continued success and all the best. I love the excerpt and look forward to reading the book soon..*S*
    thank you for the giveaway, and the great post and info..*S*

    Darcy
    pommawolf @hotmail.com

  43. Patricia March 23, 2012 7:05 pm  Reply

    This has been added to my tbr wishlist to purchase at the end of the month. Good information that you gave.
    Patricia

  44. Barbara March 24, 2012 12:24 am  Reply

    Congrats, Casea…and NO, I don’t NEED a spanking…but, I’ll take the $10 bucks! ;)

    barbbattaglia @ yahoo.com

  45. Ashley Applebee March 24, 2012 12:55 am  Reply

    Awesome post! Thanks for all the great info!

  46. Casea Major March 24, 2012 11:51 am  Reply

    CARA Bristol Commenter #15 was selected by Random.org for the $10 Gift card. Thank you all for commenting and happy spanking!

  47. Janice Seagraves March 24, 2012 12:46 pm  Reply

    To be truthful, I’m not into the whole spanking thing. It reminds me of being a child. I didn’t like being spanked then and I sure don’t like it now. But I do like the rules. They make sense. Now maybe if I was the spanker rather than the spakee?

    Janice~

  48. Vanessa N. April 6, 2012 7:50 pm  Reply

    Congrats! The book sounds really good. Thanks for the giveaway.

    mythic021@gmail.com

  49. Janie Brigance June 20, 2012 12:53 pm  Reply

    This book is a must read book. Thanks for the giveaway.

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