Monthly Archives: April 2012

        Sometimes, only a thin line separates BDSM from abuse in a relationship. Especially online, you find people who claim that their “naturally dominant” personalities entitle them to demand submission of others: to take ownership of mind, body and soul. The only thing creepier than Dominants who profess their superiority are the submissives who offer themselves up for this sort of abuse.

          True, many submissives simply echo the erotic fantasies that haunt them, reciting the words they’ve seen others type. Most shun real-time opportunities. Although a few may go so far as to present themselves for service, reality and pain soon send them back to the comfort of their online world. But some actually put themselves in the hands of the those who have no education, little experience, and less understanding of the responsibilities that come with accepting someone’s submission.

            I especially worry about the submissives who have low (or no) self-esteem, who think enslavement will solve their vanilla-world problems, who make decisions based on the reaction between their legs instead of the one between their ears. They get damaged — emotionally, physically, and financially.

“I am dominant by nature and like to be in control,” more than one profile claims. They makes no reference to experience, knowledge or caring for a submissive. “I am a True Master seeking a true sub/slave to serve Me,” another common declaration. Exactly what does that mean?

BDSM organizations have defined abuse as: “Physical, sexual or emotional acts inflicted on a person without their informed and freely given consent.”

But without training and experience, without care and consideration, abuse can happen even with consent. Someone who consents to a D/s relationship without prior knowledge of what it involves or the person to whom he/she is submitting is a perfect candidate for emotional abuse. This statement, in a “slave’s” online journal, speaks volumes about what the person writing it has experienced in the past. “i need some security and to feel good that i am not going to be thrown away for a simple reason.”

That boi consented to a D/s relationship. He offered himself as a slave to someone who professed experience and presented a “leather resume” that was, for the most part fabricated. What he didn’t get from the Dominant to whom he gave himself was references from others who had served him. The emotional abuse that ensued took its toll, and it required the better part of a year for the boi to heal from a month-long enslavement.

To work, a Dominant/submissive relationship must offer symbiotic benefits to everyone involved. Even a slave should ask: “What’s in it for me?” Dominants who do not ensure that their submissives’ needs get met, as well as their own, do not deserve the title of Master/Mistress. Those who abuse their submissives — who don’t respect and treasure them as human beings — give all a bad name.

Friendship, love, intimacy, respect, and trust form the core of all relationships. Without any one of those, the connection between two (or more) people will not last. The strongest D/s relationships I know are the ones that started out as two people in love. Often the D/s aspect grew organically out of their love affair/marriage. Their unions have endured for decades. However, those who seek Owners or slaves without developing deeper relationships, most likely will not survive together a year.

One can meet one’s soul mate online. I know a number of couples/families who have done so, including those who started out geographically very far apart. And it helps if you share common interests in S&M and D/s, so seeking that soul mate on a site for alternative lifestyles offers advantages. But, look beyond the labels at the person. Get to know the man or woman on many levels before venturing into a Master/slave contract. D/s demands incredible trust. You cannot achieve trust without scrupulous honesty and that requires a lot of  communication.

The best way to avoid abuse is to take precautions from the moment you meet a potential new partner. I highly recommend Jack Rinella’s book Partners in Power. Not only does he address safety, but he also talks about types of real-world relationships and what it takes to find the right partner and actually make a D/s relationships work.

If you got involved in a relationship without taking precautions, if you allowed fantasies and desire to overrule common sense, it’s critical that you be honest with yourself now. Anyone who suspects they (or someone they care about) has suffered from abuse, needs to ask these questions (developed at Leather Leadership Conference in 1999):

“1. Are your needs and limits respected?

“2. Is your relationship built on honesty, trust, and respect?

“3. Are you able to express feelings of guilt or jealousy or unhappiness?

“4. Can you function in everyday life?

“5. Can you refuse to do illegal activities?

“6. Can you insist on safe sex practices?

“7. Can you choose to interact freely with others outside of your relationship?

“8. Can you leave the situation without fearing that you will be harmed, or fearing the other participant(s) will harm themselves?

“9. Can you choose to exercise self-determination with money, employment, and life decisions?

“10. Do you feel free to discuss your practices and feelings with anyone you choose?”

If any of those questions generates a “No” answer, the relationship is potentially abusive. You can find help by contacting the National Leather Association -International Domestic Violence Project at http://www.nlaidvproject.us, your local domestic violence hotline, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or http://www.ndvh.org/

Stay safe.

BIO:
I.G. Frederick has traded words for cash more years than she cares to admit and has specialized in erotic fiction and poetry since 2001. She has sold numerous short stories and poems to various print and electronic magazines and anthologies. Her four novels have received high praise from readers, critics, and other authors. Three of her four novels address issues of consent and abuse in a BDSM context. In her latest book, Playing With Dolls, Jesse enjoyed playing with dolls and wearing girls’ clothing as a child. His liberal father, resigned to having a gay son, encourages Jesse’s involvement in the LGBT youth culture of Eugene, Oregon where they live. On his eighteenth birthday, Jesse has his first sexual experience and hates it. A few months later, he is befriended by a Lesbian couple who introduces him to S&M. When they move away, he flounders, pretending to be a woman to get a job. Although Tony, a handsome leatherman, rescues him, Jesse finds the price too high for his liking. Then Tony takes his boys to Paradise and Jesse learns things about himself that he finds very difficult to accept. http://eroticawriter.net/

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Dark Revenge by Jennifer Leeland

http://www.amazon.com/Dark-Revenge-ebook/dp/B0072HDO7A/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1335627853&sr=8-1

ASIN B0072HDO7A

Story rating: 5 out of 5 paddles  

Sting factor (kink): 4.5 out of 5

When I was sent Jennifer Leeland’s Dark Revenge, I was warned that it was not so much a BDSM novel but a novel with BDSM elements.  After reading the ebook, I can only assume that the phrase “novel with BDSM elements” is code for a full fledged story with hot BDSM  Because that is what Ms. Leeland has delivered.

This book is a wide, sweeping science fiction story of love, war, insidious plots, and trust.  The Teran worlds were settled by refugees from Earth as it was laid to waste by a plague.  Alex and Tory are natives of Teran One, a planet were your family line is the most important thing about you.  The farther back in history your line can trace its past, the more powerful your line is, politically.  Alex is one of the two surviving daughters of her line.  Tory is an outcast, the last of his line who betrayed Teran One years ago.  Both had loved each other without acknowledging it.  Fate will throw them back together as a great evil threatens all the Teran worlds.

Dark Revenge is well written with superb technical competence.  Not only is it free of any glaring errors that distract you from the story, the writing paints vivid word pictures that allow your imagination to create the most wonderful images in your brain.  The story itself is rich and engaging.  Background information is seamlessly woven into the story without the usual feelings of tired exposition.  The reader quickly finds they care about the characters.  This is a rich story, with many twists and turns in the plot.  Science fiction fans will appreciate the inclusion of many of our favorite elements of the genre (telepathy, space travel, energy weapons, seeing how change affects society).

The sex in the story is more than good.  Tory likes his women restrained and his sex rough.  It’s not long before Alex discovers that she likes being that restrained, roughly sexed woman.  This is not a novel with sex scenes in each chapter, but one in which the sex is an integral part of the plot.  The sex is BDSM all the way.  Fans of this genre will recognize many of the usual elements, albeit with a sci-fi twist.  It’s as vividly described as the rest of the story, and very hot.  Only the die hard stroke seeker will be disappointed by the lower than normal sexual content.

I give Dark Revenge 5 out of 5 for the story and 4.5 out of 5 for the sting (averaging 4 for those wanting more quantity, and 5 for those who appreciate the quality).  This story is well worth your time and money.

Reviewed by David

Addicted to Love by Kris Williams

http://www.amazon.com/Addicted-Love-Enslavement-Krissy-ebook/dp/B006WSVN2I/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1335591634&sr=8-1

ASIN B006WSVN2I  

1 out of 5 paddles

Review:

Krissy is frightened of her boyfriend Mitch. After two years living with him, their terms change as Mitch wants to own Krissy as his slave. He wants to be a Master. The first three sentences of this story caught my attention. I was hoping it was going to be good. Instead, I’m disappointed. To say I didn’t like this story is an understatement. It wasn’t the non-con or the rape or the beatings which made me dislike the book. I’ve read more sadistic books and gotten off on them. This story is a disappointment because the writer, Ms. Williams is perpetuating disgusting misconceptions of BDSM.

If this story was a BDSM fantasy story, then I might be able to accept this story and find it hot. Instead, this book is reads as a contemporary BDSM piece with a D/s and SM theme with Master and slave. This story makes a mockery of the Master and slave element. Make no mistakes, Mitch is not a Master. In the story, Ms. Williams keeps repeating Mitch is a Master and that he needs to be this cruel and brutal to show Krissy who is boss. What this shows me, is Ms. Williams’ complete lack of understanding of either D/s or Master and slave dynamics. I recommend Ms. Williams do a little more research on how a Master/slave relationship works. This story is written with lack of understanding in the BDSM lifestyle. The fact that Mitch expresses his right to beat the shit out of Krissy because he is the MASTER is a key tip off for me that this is not a BDSM friendly book. Instead, this is a BDSM hostile book.  This book is a good example of a bad Dom.

Mitch’s character is domineering, not dominant. He is a bully who is a domestic violence abuser. Trying to paint him to come across as some loving Master showing his slave her rightful place offends me to no end. Krissy’s acceptance of Mitch’s abuse is not the power exchange of a D/s relationship. Instead, it is the cowering victim of an abused woman. Rather than point out each twisted BDSM concept, I will recommend once again, Ms. Williams needs a better understanding of the BDSM lifestyle. Or, perhaps Ms. Williams needs some real life experience with BDSM. As a person in the BDSM lifestyle, had I witnessed this relationship, Mitch would have immediately been banned from any BDSM club. In addition, an intervention for counseling would have taken place for Krissy.

Ms. Williams’ writing voice is fine with her showing rather than telling style. Her characters are flat and predictable. The concept of this story is something I enjoy; it is regretful that the execution was poor. I’ve read harsher and more sadistic acts in other books and enjoyed those. What it comes down to, is that in this story, Mitch meets all the false myths of a BDSM Dom characteristic yet it is presented as if these are true attributes of a Dom. This false representation I can not abide by because it too easily confuses readers who are not in the lifestyle to believe this is what a BDSM relationship will be. The erasure of the lines between fantasy and reality makes this piece a dangerous one.

This storyline seems to be confused.  Is it a non consensual story or is it romance story?  What makes this story more disturbing is that it is using romantic elements to make it come across as a romance story. Even the ending to the story is a happily ever after. Ms. Williams should pick one or the other.  To try and combine both is not easily done.  I recommend only BDSM readers to read this book as a BDSM fantasy, not a contemporary BDSM piece.

Reviewed by Book Addict

The Playground by Sascha Illyvich

http://www.amazon.com/Playground-Night-Stand-Series-ebook/dp/B006V57KK6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1335505842&sr=8-1

ASIN B006V57KK6

Sory rating: 3 out of 5 paddles 

Sting factor (kink): 4 out of 5

Blurb:

Jet setter and playboy Devon has a BDSM dark side he wants to make reality, only catch is the girl who would serve him perfectly left him years ago and is afraid of what living with him means. He’d given up all hope until he’d spotted Shelly, waiting tables in the casino he happened to be sitting in. Using the 1NightStand service to find her, set her up in a park, have her chained/bound to playground equipment with only a blindfold on. Can his Dominance teach her the meaning of true love?

Review:

I have heard great things about Sascha Illyvich as an author and love the 1NS (One Night Stand) series.  But, I was disappointed in this installment.  The Playground is enjoyable but not compelling. I won’t blame it on the length (less than 40 pages) since I have read some short stories that manage to wrap it all in.

Devon and Shelly were involved several years ago and now, Devon’s found her again.  Enlisting the 1NightStand service to find her and hopefully get her back, Devon gives Shelly a wonderful night.  I liked what I knew about both characters.  But, I do feel like a bit of their development was missing.  I never got invested in their story and didn’t really care what the outcome was for them.

Devon is obviously a dominant and he does it well.  Shelly just needs to realize that what she wants is to be a submissive and he is determined to help her realize that.  I did really enjoy Sascha Illyvich’s use of common items in the BDSM scenes they did.  It wasn’t necessary for the characters to have a dungeon or a lot of purchased equipment and that did make it feel more down to earth and realistic.

Overall, the story is enjoyable and hot.  It just didn’t hit the right buttons for me to be compelling and phenomenal.  If you enjoy the 1NS series or books by Sascha Illyvich, I think you’ll enjoy The Playground as an addition to that.  Even if you are looking for a short story that packs an erotic punch with accurate and palpable BDSM themes, then this would be once I recommend.

Reviewed by Star

Pure Bliss by Sophie Oak

http://www.amazon.com/Nights-Colorado-Publishing-Everlasting-ebook/dp/B007V2DA66/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1335454567&sr=1-1

ASIN B007V2DA66

Story rating: 5 out of 5 paddles 

Sting factor (kink): 5 out of 5

When I first read Sophie Oaks first book about Bliss, Colorado, I felt like I had discovered a diamond in the rough.  A hot read and good book, it needed some polishing.

With the last few books, and particularly Pure Bliss, the diamond now sparkles with a breathtaking shine.  This book was hot, funny, suspenseful, and a pure joy from front to finish.  Parts had me laughing out loud, although there are some darker elements here.

Hope has lived in Bliss for some time now, but only the Sheriff knows about her past, and not even he knows all of it.  And her attraction to James Glen is no secret to anyone in town.

For his part, James thinks Hope may be his true love, but he hasn’t been able to approach her because his ranch has been in trouble.  With a new partnership helping the ranch, and Logan, Hope’s friend, leaving her in his care, now may the time for him to approach her.  But there’s a catch-his brother is back in town and he also wants Hope.  Noah, who shared growing up with James was not really of his blood, but was raised like his little brother.  When he left, he left the town and James in a lot of trouble. All for a woman who wasn’t worth his time.

Can these three people with guilt lying on their shoulders find happiness in a cobbled together family?  Well, that’s what Bliss is about-family. The author explores the relationships people develop both with other individuals and with the town as a whole. And how people can let go of their troubled pasts to relish a new, and brighter future.

With a ménage relationship, a BDSM scene or two, and some yummy cowboys, this book is a mandatory read.

Reviewed by Karen

Peace Within the Quiet, a Velvet Glove Story by Sean Michael

http://www.amazon.com/Peace-Within-Quiet-Velvet-ebook/dp/B007I6HGR4/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1335398844&sr=1-1

ASIN B007I6HGR4 

Book Rating: 3 out of 5 paddles

Sting factor (kink): 1 out of 5

Review:

Gloucester is an aging sub who hasn’t belonged to a top for a very long time. He’s throwing himself a bit of a pity party at being thrown over by yet another top for a younger sub when he decides to pull himself up and go on the prowl. Gloucester haunts the halls of The Velvet Glove, a giant BDSM club of the future. In his wanderings, Gloucester comes across Katashi, a top with an apparent talent for rope. Katashi seems taken with Gloucester and invites him to share a meal, and then a meditation session. The two men are quite enamored of each other and by the second night they seem well on the way to forming a relationship.

Peace Within the Quiet is a very short story recycled from a five year old collection. While there is quite a bit of discussion of pain and bondage, it’s all in the past. What’s actually depicted in the few scenes described is a very gentle seduction. It’s a rather sweet romantic story. Being a short story, it moves at a blinding, almost unbelievable, pace and there’s absolutely no drama to it. The writing is competent, but as a BDSM story it gives you nothing to fire your imagination.

Reviewed by Michael Joseph

Daddy’s Dungeon by Michelle Fawkes

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/96568

Story rating: 5 out of 5 paddles

Sting factor (kink) 5 out of 5

REVIEW

This was a short story, but the writing was great and the sex scenes hot. Jenifer has lost her mother and Sebastian is widowed. He hasn’t dated and seeing his step-daughter brings fond memories of his wife. Then those memories turn carnal when Jenifer discovers the dungeon.

There is more to this story (thank goodness!) then what I’m revealing here. The pairing between the innocent submissive daughter and the commanding dominant daddy..whew..need I say more. I would recommend this to those that can suspend reality and enjoy it for what it is. Please note: I would not recommend this to anyone who has suffered abuse in real life though.

Reviewed Sizzlin’ Miss Kim

Orion’s Way by DC Juris

http://www.amazon.com/Orions-Way-ebook/dp/B0065VPNBO/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1335328655&sr=1-1

ASIN  B0065VPNBO

As the owner of a private dungeon for vampires, Malagan, an ancient himself, does not tolerate those that break the rules.  When he is alerted by his dungeon monitors that a sub has safeworded and his Master continues the scene, Malagan steps in. When he was told who the sub was Malagan knew he would have a problem on his hands. This male submissive used to belong to one of his dungeon monitors, Orion, who happens to be on duty.

Orion lost Xavier to Clay when he couldn’t dominate him like he needed.  Finding him beaten and bloody, Orion’s blood bond is awakened and he is willing to fight to get him back.  Malagan helps Orion recover Xavier, but soon history repeats itself.  As Orion wallows in his doubt, Malagan explains it very cleary….either you are a Master or a feeder.  Allowing Orion to dominate him, Malagan awakens the Master.

Orion’s Way is a deliciously quick read. I could keep reading about Malagan and Orion.  Their scene together is one of submission and the need to regain control. Malagan’s willingness to kneel before Orion to show him that he can Master Xavier is emotional. For a Master to kneel, to submit and teach is a powerful act to witness.  I loved the dynamics of these two together. The give and take of between teacher and student. DC is an amazing author of the M/M bond.

5 out of 5 paddles

Reviewed by Michele

Biker Gurls by Paul Moore

http://www.amazon.com/Biker-Gurls-ebook/dp/B0056C0JX0/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1335327996&sr=1-1

ASIN B0056C0JX0 

Story rating: 4 out of 5 paddles

Sting factor (kink): 4 out of 5

Cruel sexual enslavement by a dirty boss, betrayals, hot lesbian and a happily ever after, this is all up my alley.  In Biker Gurls from Mr. Moore, we are treated to a very hot fantasy where the naughty secretary, Coraline is caught by her boss for “borrowing” from the petty cash.  I too wonder about the petty cash.  Why is it called petty?  What is petty, is Coraline’s boss, Andrew Baron’s response to the situation.  He sexually blackmails her first with a blow job and it quickly escalates.

I need to chime in here that I don’t condone sexual harassment in the work force yet this is such a taboo and guilty fantasy, isn’t it?  Mr. Moore writes a depraved and dirty non consensual situation between Coraline and Baron.  I DIG IT!  It wet my panties reading about the debauchery visited upon the embezzling Coraline.  I would feel sorry for her but she did steal money, even if she did return it.

The story then takes a few twists in turns where Coraline meets the Biker Gurls – Miko and Sophie.  Initial meeting with the dynamic duo started off on a wrong foot but quickly switched to camaraderie with a focused payback against Baron.  From there the hot lesbian sex has my bisexual desires humming in delight.  The vengeance is deliciously sweet, if predictable.  I loved it.  The downfall of Baron was a fitting climax and how it all worked out gave me a satisfying high.

The sex in this story is gritty and filled with humiliation.  I do enjoy the humiliation aspect of BDSM.  Let us not forget the hard anal sex and sex slave training.  The situations Mr. Moore places Coraline and her replacement are hot and not for the meek.  The thrashings they receive as well as the hard anal riding satiate my voyeuristic tendencies.  The story flowed in a fast pace manner with not a wasted scene.  I recommend this fast flaming hot read to BDSM readers who like the grittier and dirty side of the BDSM fantasy.

Reviewed by Book Addict

 

Bondage at Sea by Genevieve Ash

http://www.amazon.com/Bondage-at-Sea-ebook/dp/B006ZYPZFU/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1335233787&sr=1-1

ASIN B006ZYPZFU

Story rating: 4 out of 5

Sting factor (kink): 1 out of 5

This is a short, enjoyable erotic fiction story using BDSM as the lever within a mutually attractive couple.

The BDSM aspect is never fully explained as to why she accepts his offer for a trip or for his using BDSM because neither are truly in the lifestyle, but that and another twist provides each with a way to be open to the other.

For me though, I enjoyed the emotions each was feeling as they tried to accept and express their feelings.

It was a fun romp, just enough BDSM to not be totally disappointing, and enough sexual action to be arousing.

It is a fairly easy read that took me about 20 minutes, but I have to admit to speeding up when the actions and emotions of the characters begin moving faster.

Reviewed by ronni