Today’s Guest is Sherri Hayes!

Creativity and Discipline

One of the things I find fascinating in BDSM is the creativity. Not only does it spice things up when it comes to play, but it also makes punishments/correction more personal. I had a Dom tell me once that spankings are fine for general infractions, but specific crimes are better corrected with specific punishments. It was something that has stuck with me and that I use in my writing. The goal is to curb the behavior, and since we are all not cut from the same mold, the correction given needs to be individual tailored to the person receiving it.

A submissive friend of mine told me that she used to have a problem with mouthing off to her Dom. If you know anything about most Dominants, that’s something most don’t take kindly too and usually don’t allow to continue for long, especially from their submissives. Her Dom wasn’t any different. Instead of spanking her or giving her some other generic form of punishment, he drove his point home by having her hold a live goldfish in her mouth. She recalled to me how it felt flopping around inside her mouth. The correction was unique, it had relevance to the situation, and it made the point of the importance of controlling her words and tone before speaking.

I love using this creativity in my writing. In Slave, Brianna was caught not paying attention, so Stephan took her books away from her. It amazes me how many of my readers who are not in the lifestyle react to this correction. Most were outraged that he would take her book away from her, her most prized possession at the time. But I say to them, that’s the point. In order for correction or punishment to be effective, it has to be something that is not pleasant for the submissive.

How to come up with creative corrections/punishments can be a challenge in and of itself and it takes practice and experience no matter if you are an author writing it or a Dom/me living it. As a writer, however, you have a little more time to think things through as you don’t have a naughty sub sitting there waiting for whatever you’ve deemed appropriate.

Where to start?

First, you need to look at the overall situation. What is the state of the character’s relationship? Have they been together for a while? Has trust been built or is everything still new and tentative?

Once that is established, look at the crime. Was it intentional or a misunderstanding? If a submissive intentionally and with all knowledge breaks a rule, they must be dealt with more harshly than one that has accidentally taken a miss step .

The best punishments are the ones that leave a lasting impression of the lesson. It doesn’t matter if it is something as simple as a writing assignment or a cold shower; the point is that it teaches, it corrects, and it deters. Some subs learn these quickly, others take more time and effort on the part of both the Dominant and the submissive, but either way it take time and learning about each other to find what is appropriate and what isn’t.

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