Category: 1 out of 5 Paddles

Slap, Tickle, and Tie by Peter Birch 

ASIN B006P2V01A   

1 out of 5 paddles

Mr. Birch started out this book with a brief  discussion of what is a fetish. Expecting this to be an introductory chapter of a larger and more in depth discussion I continued on. Then came the second chapter and the third, each time I found a brief and cursory discussion of an aspect of a fetish or sexual kink such as bondage or spanking positions.

Followingthe fourth or fifth chapter I returned to the beginning pages and discovered a small passage where this is a compilation of eight articles about the author’s favorite fetishes.

This explanation satisfied me, some what.

As I read on I wondered who the audience would be of this book. The total beginner might pick up the book thinking they were going to learn a lot about kink but they would come away disappointed. Each fetish along with the discussion of bondage and spanking doesn’t attempt to explain or understand the psychology of why people may be attracted to it. Someone interested in exploring kink and wanting to learn more come away with the feeling of not having actually learned anything. An individual within the BDSM community would react even more so because all this book does is give the author’s preferences. 

I’m always interested in discovering new material, whether a book or an article that can be used to refer people to who have a yearning for something more and wonder if BDSM and kink are what they are missing in their lives. I can’t see telling anyone with little or no kink/BDSM background to use this book for anything. It would more likely scare them away than inform.

Reviewed by Ronni


Addicted to Love by Kris Williams


1 out of 5 paddles


Krissy is frightened of her boyfriend Mitch. After two years living with him, their terms change as Mitch wants to own Krissy as his slave. He wants to be a Master. The first three sentences of this story caught my attention. I was hoping it was going to be good. Instead, I’m disappointed. To say I didn’t like this story is an understatement. It wasn’t the non-con or the rape or the beatings which made me dislike the book. I’ve read more sadistic books and gotten off on them. This story is a disappointment because the writer, Ms. Williams is perpetuating disgusting misconceptions of BDSM.

If this story was a BDSM fantasy story, then I might be able to accept this story and find it hot. Instead, this book is reads as a contemporary BDSM piece with a D/s and SM theme with Master and slave. This story makes a mockery of the Master and slave element. Make no mistakes, Mitch is not a Master. In the story, Ms. Williams keeps repeating Mitch is a Master and that he needs to be this cruel and brutal to show Krissy who is boss. What this shows me, is Ms. Williams’ complete lack of understanding of either D/s or Master and slave dynamics. I recommend Ms. Williams do a little more research on how a Master/slave relationship works. This story is written with lack of understanding in the BDSM lifestyle. The fact that Mitch expresses his right to beat the shit out of Krissy because he is the MASTER is a key tip off for me that this is not a BDSM friendly book. Instead, this is a BDSM hostile book.  This book is a good example of a bad Dom.

Mitch’s character is domineering, not dominant. He is a bully who is a domestic violence abuser. Trying to paint him to come across as some loving Master showing his slave her rightful place offends me to no end. Krissy’s acceptance of Mitch’s abuse is not the power exchange of a D/s relationship. Instead, it is the cowering victim of an abused woman. Rather than point out each twisted BDSM concept, I will recommend once again, Ms. Williams needs a better understanding of the BDSM lifestyle. Or, perhaps Ms. Williams needs some real life experience with BDSM. As a person in the BDSM lifestyle, had I witnessed this relationship, Mitch would have immediately been banned from any BDSM club. In addition, an intervention for counseling would have taken place for Krissy.

Ms. Williams’ writing voice is fine with her showing rather than telling style. Her characters are flat and predictable. The concept of this story is something I enjoy; it is regretful that the execution was poor. I’ve read harsher and more sadistic acts in other books and enjoyed those. What it comes down to, is that in this story, Mitch meets all the false myths of a BDSM Dom characteristic yet it is presented as if these are true attributes of a Dom. This false representation I can not abide by because it too easily confuses readers who are not in the lifestyle to believe this is what a BDSM relationship will be. The erasure of the lines between fantasy and reality makes this piece a dangerous one.

This storyline seems to be confused.  Is it a non consensual story or is it romance story?  What makes this story more disturbing is that it is using romantic elements to make it come across as a romance story. Even the ending to the story is a happily ever after. Ms. Williams should pick one or the other.  To try and combine both is not easily done.  I recommend only BDSM readers to read this book as a BDSM fantasy, not a contemporary BDSM piece.

Reviewed by Book Addict

Pleasure Haven
Genevieve Ash
Xcite Books [link to buy]

Rating: 1 out of 5 paddles


An erotic novella with mixed themes including spanking, female submission and role play.

Trish lives a quiet, happy life until she meets Josh, and he turns her world upside down. Worlds apart, they record erotic audio books, their voices merged in a studio far away, until one day they are brought together in a small recording booth.Their attraction immediate, the close proximity and titillating words, make it impossible to deny their lust for one another. Although distance and commitments keep them apart, they become writing partners and manage to find ways to come together for both business and pleasure. When Josh decides to cross the Pond and visit Trish on her home turf, she takes him to a secluded cabin in the woods where “making up for lost time” takes on a whole new meaning.


Pleasure Haven is a short story that has very little BDSM involved. Trish and Josh met while recording erotic audio books. Now, they meet every so often and work on new stories together.

I liked both characters. They are a partnership that is really only together for the sex over the years. But, this trip proves to be something more. Trish is a fun character willing to try new things and take a chance. Josh states time and again that their relationship is a partnership, but they do try a few role plays in the bedroom.
I wasn’t overly impressed with Pleasure Haven, but I did enjoy the simple contemporary romance with a few kinky bits hinted t. I didn’t feel like it was very erotic or BDSM themed. When I finished the story, I couldn’t remember any spanking or anything kinkier than a few outfits. Pleasure Haven is a cute short story that has its merits, those merits for me just didn’t fit with a BDSM theme.

Reviewed by Star

The Gate
Kaitlyn O’Connor

no link found

Overall book 1 out of 5
BDSM/kink 0 out of 5 paddles

The concept at the core of The Gate is an interesting one,solid.

In a future moon colony, where government monitoring and control has become the norm, Carly becomes obsessed with her virtual sex partner, the only person who offers her a release from her cramped and boring life. When she attempts to divine the identities of the people who contributed to the program, she learns that he may be based on a real person: Devlin Bear, her best friend’s brother. The real Devlin is dead, killed in a lab accident while working on a top-secret government project, but when Carly orders a cybernetic sex doll programmed with her virtual lover’s personality, she discovers that the doll really does think that he’s Devlin Bear. He may, in fact, be Devlin Bear. And now that he’s back, there are people who want what he knows.

There were things I liked about this book. Devlin and his sister Brenda are both Arapaho. There’s a really nice bit about how the Arapaho language, being a “dead” language despite still being spoken by, you know, actual living for-real Arapaho, was left out of the translation databases in a typically privileged and dismissive jerk move. The language is now being used to organize rebel efforts and circumvent the nearly-constant surveillance. I thought that was really cool.

The feeling of being watched was well-evoked, and we never for a moment forget that Carly’s world is one of intrusive and disturbing governmental voyeurism. I, like a lot of folks, have a fear of being watched constantly, of having my behavior monitored and judged,and having my suitability as part of society judged by what I do in private, so this hit home in a major way.

Given this awful and emotionally-stunting environment, I can empathize totally with Carly’s desire to connect to something real, something that matters, something that is hers, in a world that really doesn’t value individuality or independence. Ordering a sex doll made to look and act like someone is kind of creepy,but it is a fantastic plot device and in context it totally works. Devlin was likable and the most interesting character. I really enjoyed getting to know him, and wish that he and Carly had been able to spend more time talking.

The book could have used a stronger hand in the proofing process. The prose was often redundant and the dialogue stiff, making it hard to build up any sense of urgency. If the dialogue had been tightened up it would have been a much sharper read.

It was a great idea but needed more detail about the characters and the world to really work, and I think that was the real failing of the story,and why it failed to really engage me. In fact, there’s one piece of advice I think would have fixed about 75%of my problems with the book: “Be more specific.”

What was the government doing that was so bad it required a rebellion? Surveillance and suppression is capital-B-Bad,but we never get the feeling that this affects Carly in anything other than a vague-icky-feeling kind of way. We don’t see that anything specific is at stake for her.

The rebels, while we want to like them because they are obviously standing on the side of justice and freedom and “Please don’t spy on me in the shower, okay?” don’t have much of an identity otherwise. We have no idea what specific goals they are working towards, or how that ties in to the plot.

There is little sensory detail provided except in the sex scenes, when there is marginally more, but still not enough to make the scenes really grab me. Devlin gets a little heated at one point, and that was hot – not just because I’m into rough sex, but because it was a well-done moment of genuine emotion. The sex scenes are successful enough, however, to be the best part of the book.
Overall, I think this was a very interesting idea that was executed in a disappointing way, and readers looking for SF erotica might do well to skip it and find something a little more highly-polished.

Reviewed by Naamah

Deja Brew
Mardi Ballou
Ellora’s Cave [link to buy]

Rating: 1 out of 5 paddles

Deja Brew by Mardi Ballou is a story with great potential that, unfortunately, it doesn’t live up to. Lisa and Jack are lovers and business partners trying to talk a witch into allowing their company to market a radically new potion she’s devised, deja brew. The potion can transport the drinker’s mind to a time in their own past to experience it again, fresh. Dora, the witch, has concerns about mass marketing such a potion and the general public’s ability to deal with seeing the past in perfect clarity as opposed to through the haze of memory. The conflict erupts when it becomes clear that Jack and Lisa are taking Dora’s concerns in totally different lights.

I have no complaints about the purely technical aspects of Ms. Ballou’s writing. There are no awkward word choices, or glaring errors in format of spelling to distract the reader from the story. The problem is the story itself. It just doesn’t sing, if you will. Throughout the 80 or so pages of ebook, the reader is left with the impression of actors dutifully going through their lines and actions, but with no passion or energy. I felt no affinity for the characters; there was nothing that made me care about whether Lisa or Jack would stay together. I didn’t even care whether the potion would eventually be marketed or not.

Speaking of the potion, the idea of some kind of magic or technology that allowed the user to experience the past in perfect clarity is a good one, with hordes of potential; that is ultimately squandered. People don’t remember the past accurately; our memories are altered by time, desire, comparing to others who experienced it a little differently. The idea of remembering the past as it really was is so powerful a plot device, as the users see things differently from their remembrances and struggle to deal with that dichotomy. Yet, Jack and Lisa experience none of that. It’s as if they remember their pasts perfectly.

Erotically, this book suffered as well. The sex scenes are given short shift with openings for incredible descriptions of eroticism wasted as they pass with nary a comment. The descriptions that are there are mechanical feeling, not passionate. It doesn’t help that the BDSM content is nearly non-existent (one handcuff scene), and when it shows up it is unbelievable, in terms of the characters actually choosing to do it (to explain would be a spoiler).

I have one last problem with the book, and that’s the blurb. Once you read the blurb, you’ve been told 90% of the plot. That’s right, the blurb that tries to entice you to read it, tells you pretty much the entire story. I was reminded of bad movies with a few coo, scenes, all of which make up the trailer.

I have to give Deja Brew only 1 paddle. It’s just not worth it, especially if you want some BDSM.

Reviewed by David

Freedom is Slavery
Louis Friend
[link to buy]
ISBN-10: 0557207096
ISBN-13: 978-0557207091

Rating: 1 out of 5 paddles

The reading and evaluation of this book went through several stages. When reading the introduction anticipating a novel I discovered in fact it was a series of short stories as the author refers to them or fantasies as he discusses. I agreed with him as I read the Introduction that fantasies do not necessarily have to come true but are not bad to indulge.

I read the first story, Sybarta and then the second, Big Fun in a Small Space and they were indeed enjoyable, but left me wanting and wondering. What happened to the rest of the story, or if I kept reading there would be at some point and intersection where they would come together? This seemed a logical assumption as each story were all told from the same first person point of view. Plus as I read the narrator of the story was always male. But slowly the realization set in that there was no more to any of the stories, nor do they come together to form a whole. Each story is separate and distinct, except for the teacher sequence in the middle of the book, but even then only the characters are the same.

What happened though as I read the first few stories was to understand that they don’t really stand as what I normally consider stories.There are always 2 and sometimes 3 characters, but the primary character in each episode is simply referred to as “I”, with no descriptors of the person and minimal reference to who he is, other than male. The secondary character is usually given a short physical description and where the story is taking place is mentioned.

Next what follows is a description of a BDSM scene. Most of the scenes are dominated by a Femdom and a few with a Maledom oriented perspective. The scenes and activities are minimally described. The physical and emotional reactions of the participants are almost always the same.

What the stories reminded me of were the old beta tapes one would find at the porno shops where two people meet, look at each other and simply shed their clothes for an afternoon of sex. Each story has the potential to be individually stimulating, but collectively left me with a hollow feeling. Where was the plot?, Character development? I reached the point where I might have been satisfied for just a decent character description. A theme, a setting, or any of the required structures of a story.

What he has written is a series of stand alone BDSM scenes, most are which I would guess are based on some sort of personal experience. He does much better when they are Femdom stories, as most of the Maledom perspectives feel thin.

The difficulty goes back to it feeling hollow in the end.

Reviewed by Ronni.

Slave Nano
Andrews UK (AUK) [link to buy]

Rating: 1 out of 5 paddles

When you read the blurb for this book you might be deceived into thinking it’s going to be a good read. Unfortunately that’s not really what you get. It’s a good story concept that if fleshed out from a novella to a novel, may work for some readers who like futuristic stories.

Pandora lives in a futuristic time when China rules Britain. All the reader is told about how this came to be is, there was a war. She has brought a house that’s inhabited by a spirit, a previous Domme who lived in the house, the Goddess Nemesis. A psychic contacts one of the Goddesses slaves (who happens to have the same name as Pandora’s futuristic household management system) and from that point Pandora decides she needs to become a dominatrix. She starts with her boyfriend, who responds immediately to her domination even though he’s described as disinterested in Pandora. Then the next thing you know, Pandora has other male slaves who pay her to be their Domme. You don’t really get told where they come from, or how she’s found them, they just appear. As do the secret police who take her into custody and torture her. The psychic and her household management system come up with a plan to release Pandora from her captors. Their plan is as far fetched as the book.

I found myself asking a lot of questions as I read this book. What did Britain do to piss china off so much they took over the country? Where did the extra slaves come from? How did they know about a new Mistress in town? What was Pandora’s motivation? Why did her boyfriend suddenly submit to her? How did that change in the dynamic of their relationship come about? Why did the secret police come looking for her? What questions are they asking her while they’re torturing her? How does the household management system work and what would it be like to have one? Surprisingly I didn’t get answers to any of these queries.
The BDSM scenes in the book aren’t really scenes. They’re more like brief statements of action. There’s little description of what’s happening, whether Pandora is enjoying the activity, or whether the slaves are. Nothing, no feeling, no motivations, very little description, just more questions. One slave gets put in a cage, another gets suspended from the ceiling. Yes, it’s as descriptive as that. The torture of Pandora is written in a similar way. In fact during the time she is imprisoned Pandora doesn’t seem fazed by the acts of cruelty at all. The author states Pandora is scared, says she’s in pain. The character’s thoughts (not that there are many) don’t really reflect that.

There is little information for the reader to grasp onto and actually get involved with the story. The characters remain undeveloped throughout the story and I found myself getting frustrated, I wanted more information that the author was giving me. In all honesty, I only finished this novella because I’d agreed to review it. I wouldn’t suggest reading it. And I’m only giving it one paddle out of five.

Reviewed by JannyGee

Three Men and a Bounty
Gigi Moore
Siren Publishing [link to buy]
ISBN-10: 1606018922
ISBN-13: 978-1606018927

Rating: 1 out of 5 Paddles

Well, partner, what ya got here is a tale of the old west, about three men who find they have a right powerful hankering for each other. As if a menage wasn’t complicated enough, one of the men is a US Marshall, and a former slave. In the post civil war period, that’s a big complication. But wait, the author apparently thought, let’s make it even more complicated. Let’s make one of the other men a shape-shifter, able to take the form of a wolf at will.

There are so many potentially big issues that this story could have addressed, or used to dramatic effect, but most of them get short shrift. James is the black US Marshall, and the oldest of the three men. The racial issue gets brought up often, but when it comes to the other two men, there’s little exploration of how they feel about their attraction to a man of color. This is a constant problem with the story, every issue that should prove a barrier and provide some drama to the story is often simply brushed aside. For more than half the book, we’re told that shifters like Troy, the middle man in the threesome, are feared and hunted down like the animals they become. When Troy decides almost spontaneously to show what he is to his two admirers and shifts into his wolf form, their reaction could easily be summed up as simply, “Cool!” No fear, no suspicion, nothing. Just instant acceptance with few, if any, questions.

Chris is the third and youngest man in the menage. At just 21 years old, he’s probably seen more pain than a young man should, but he’s still anxious to show he’s a full grown man. Chris is something of a catalyst that draws the group together, and both of the older men quickly grow very protective of the younger man, who they see as still innocent, even though, sexually, he is perhaps the most wanton of the three.

When the three finally get some uninterrupted time together, James takes complete control in a very dominant fashion. This could well be an interesting D/s/s story, but it’s just the one scene. There’s also some light bondage (restraints and a blindfold). Yet again, we’re given some story elements that could be quite interesting to explore, but they’re promptly dropped and hardly mentioned again.

The writing is capable, although it telegraphs too much of where the story is headed. There are a few uses of anachronistic words, but I don’t think they would bother the casual reader. It’s just disappointing to have so many ideas introduced and not developed. It’s almost like someone sat down and looked at the themes of all the popular romance books and created a shopping list of story elements to be included. It might get a lot of people interested in the book, but it’s not a very satisfying read.

Reviewed by Michael Joseph

Body Temperature and Rising
KD Grace
Xcite Books [link to buy]

Rating: 1 out of 5 Paddles

When my father first saw the movie “Field of Dreams,” and we asked him about it, his only response was, “It was a screwy damn thing.” That is exactly how I felt about this book.

Confusing, closer to porn than erotic romance, and lacking in any real BDSM, this book was a struggle to read and a relief to finish.

The basic premise is that Marie Warren and her landlord, Tim Merriweather, are “Ghost Riders” able to bring ghosts back to the flesh to indulge in sex. But they don’t know that until they are taken in hand by members of the Elemental Coven, a group of witches made up of three ghosts and the head witch, Tara. The three ghosts, Anderson, Fiona and Sky, all have their own ways to come back to the flesh.

The coven is under attack by a demon named Deacon, who threatens all of them in order to torment the Tara, whose mother was responsible for his death.

After many amorous interludes, Tim and Marie are able to put Deacon into a coma and end the immediate threat so that the coven can indulge in an orgy with each other.

Because Deacon can control others through their dreams, it is hard to tell throughout the book when the characters are dreaming and when they are awake. A change of font would have been a help here.

While the sex is plentiful, it is not particularly hot. And the only inkling of BDSM is that Deacon carries a bullwhip and sometimes uses it to enhance the sexual pleasure of his victims as he draws them under his spell. He also ties his helpmate to the bed once.

The book is British and is set in the Lake District of England, although Marie is a transplant from the United States. Be prepared for the language barrier.

All in all, a very disappointing read, deserving of only one paddle out of five.

Reviewed by Karen H

Home Cookies
Vic Winter
Torquere Press [link to buy]

Rating 1 out of 5 Paddles

Drey’s friend Ruby likes to play matchmaker, fixing him up with numerous blind dates. Her gaydar is far more accurate that Drey’s but he has yet to click with any of the men he meets. Ruby’s latest attempt is Milton, and by the end of the two men’s evening together we know the way to Drey’s heart is cookies.

Home Cookies is a short story – just 13 pages in print. It’s a tiny little slice of life, a single evening, a date, told from the point of view of Drey. Ruby has Drey and Milton meet in a bar, and for Drey it’s practically love at first sight. Drey’s infatuation grows through dinner, so of course he’s thrilled to be invited back to Milton’s place.

This is a sweet tale, but nothing special. It’s difficult to get into anything deep in a short story. The one sex scene is rather tame, and there’s zero BDSM content, which is why I’ve rated it so low. It might make a pleasant lunch-
time read.

Reviewed by Michael