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The struggles of a new Dom
by Cassandra Carr
I have a book coming out in early December from Loose Id called Master Class, and it’s about a man named Ryan who’s divorced and despondent until he befriends one of the characters from another of my books, Caught, and discovers BDSM. Ryan goes to a Halloween party with Jack and his submissive Callie and meets an experienced sub, Lisette. He and Lisette play and the story develops from there.
There’s a reason I’m giving you this background (besides hopefully making you salivate for the book, lol). Ryan is pretty new to BDSM when he goes to the party. He’s played with Callie a little under Jack’s watchful eye, but that’s as far as he’s gotten. And well, he’s watched videos. Hey, guys like porn! So as he meets Lisette, does a scene with her, and then continues to see her, he struggles with the different aspects of being a Dom.
Does playing with Lisette make her his girlfriend? Is he dominating her “right”? Is she happy? Why does she sound funny on the phone the next day and what the hell does he do about it? Is he even supposed to do anything about it or would that be perceived as too “boyfriend-like”?
Should BDSM and love mix? Would Lisette ever look at him as more than a guy who can give her a good spanking when she needs it? Is she going to kick him in the nuts if he spanks her too long or too hard?
Ryan wonders when he can Dom Lisette. Can he do it when they’re out to dinner? If they have sex at her place after a date? If he crosses a line he didn’t know was there, what will happen?
These are all legitimate questions and concerns, and ones that many Doms face when they journey into BDSM. How is a new Dom to know what’s expected of him? Ryan spends a lot of time talking to Lisette. So much so that my critique partners made me cut out some of it, saying they thought it slowed the story down. But communication is important, especially when dealing with a new or novice Dom, and I wanted to make that clear.
As an author, it’s hard to blend the realities of BDSM with putting forth a hot, sexy love story. I hope I did so without boring the readers. On the final read-through my critique partners thought so (one of them said Ryan and Lisette’s first scene was a 47 on a scale of one to ten in hotness, so I guess I’m doing all right…).
What challenges do you think face new Doms that I haven’t mentioned?
Cassandra Carr is a multi-published, award-winning erotic romance writer with Ellora’s Cave, Siren, Sybarite Seductions and Loose Id who lives in Western New York with her husband, Inspiration, and her daughter, Too Cute for Words. When not writing she enjoys watching hockey and hanging out on Twitter. Cassandra’s book Caught was recently named Best BDSM Book 2011 by LoveRomancesCafe and Impact was named BDSM Book of the Month for May 2012 by BDSM Book Reviews.
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