BDSM on a Budget – Budget Spanking Bench

By DC Juris

The best things about this little project are it’s cheap, easy to hide, and multi-purpose. Nothing you’ll do to the bench is permanent, so it can still serve double duty as a workbench. Plus, when the in laws come over, just strip it down, throw the accessories in the closet, and throw the bench in the garage. Presto! Nothing kinky in your house!

What You’ll Need:

1 workbench – you’ll need the clamping kind, like this:   

 4 36″ bungee cords

4ft trailer safety chain

2 carabineers

2 15″x17″x2″ pieces of foam

What You’ll Do:

1. Assemble the workbench per the included instructions. Or, if you already have one made, skip to #2.

2. Place 1 foam pad on the bench step and secure with bungee cord.

3. Open the workbench and place 1 foam pad over the front half. Drape part of the foam pad into the opening and then close the bench as tightly as you can. Secure the pad with bungee cords.

Your bench should now look like this:

Now let’s add some restraints!

 4. Attach the safety chain to each back side of the workbench. You’ll use the carabineers to secure your sub’s writs, so you can leave these off until you’re ready for play.  PLEASE NOTE: Safety chain is heavy. It’s used to secure trailers to vehicles in case the trailer bounces off the hitch. This is heavy-duty chain. You may want to substitute for something lighter.

BDSM on a Budget Part 2 – Under $20 Flogger

Supplies You’ll Need:

Bicycle handle grip (look for one that’s squishy, not hard – you’ll need to cut it)

Strips of leather &/or suede

Ribbon or strips of satin

Plastic chain – optional

Beads – optional

Sharp knife

Scissors

You can find a bike handle grip at stores like Wal-Mart or ToysRUs, or wherever bikes are sold. The rest can be found at a crafting store like JoAnn’s or Michaels.

The grip I bought cost $6. Leather, suede, beads, chain, and ribbon came in at just under $13 total. If you shop around, you can probably find these things for even less.

First, look at the grip. It should have a large hole in one end and a much smaller hole in the other end. Using the knife, widen the smaller hold large enough to push strips of leather/suede through.

Since the grip is around 4.5” long, I cut suede and leather strips at about 20” long. I was able to find a ribbon necklace which already had the ribbon clumped together on one end by a bauble, but if you can’t find that, cut ribbon lengths at 20” long as well. I ended up with 4 strips of suede, 1 of leather, and 10 of ribbon.

If you opted for chain and beads, here’s what to do with those: I bought plastic chain in 10” lengths. Since they weren’t long enough, I tied them to suede strips to make up the difference.  Then I slid the beads onto the ribbons at different lengths and knotted them to keep them secure.

Let’s face it, BDSM can get expensive. If you’ve ever visited a BDSM gear site, you’ve probably left shaking your head. Things like whips, paddles and ::gasp:: benches will put a hurting on your wallet faster than you can give your safe word.

So what’s a kink to do in these tough economic times? Get kinky!

You don’t have to spend a fortune for good BDSM gear.

First of all, look around your house. Chances are, you have a kitchen. Chances are, you have utensils in that kitchen. C’mon now, even the culinary clueless like yours truly have spatulas and wooden spoons. And if you have those, you have paddles.

Got swimming goggles? Grab a permanent marker and black out the eyes. Voila! You have a blindfold. Want more sensory deprivation? Add some earplugs – found for cheap in the swimming aisle of any Mega Store.

Next, take a stroll through your favorite stores and think kink. One of my most favorite toys is a tickler we purchased at a pet store. It’s a cat toy – a long pole with feathers and fur hanging off. It cost about $5 for an evening of sensual fun.

While you’re at the pet store, check out a pet grooming glove. These have nifty little rubber nubs on them for sensation play.

Silk scarves and the sashes from robes work well for restraint. Cloth scarves also work well as gags  – tie a couple knots in the middle and the knot goes in the mouth. The nifty thing about these is they soak up saliva that a regular ball gag can’t. Depending on the size of the mouth, you may want to use several knots.

Recently I had an instant message conversation with a Dom. Let’s call him D. D had messaged me to see what I thought of a punishment he’d invented for his sub. Now, D’s fairly new to BDSM, so, even though he has a natural instinct for it, he often second-guesses himself. Never in front of his sub, of course—only online to a select few of us who realize that even a Dom has doubts every now and then. He’ll ask several of us what he should do, if he’s doing the right thing, and so on. Truth be told, I suspect he’s more of a switch in denial than a full Dom, but he’ll figure it all out in time.

Now, I don’t have a problem with him seeking advice. I just have a problem with him seeking advice from me. You see, just like in the “real world,” those in the BDSM lifestyle don’t fit a cookie cutter. We’re all different. We all handle our situations differently.

Case in point—I don’t punish my sub. I know that when people think of D/s relationships, they envision obedient subs bowing and kissing their Dom’s feet, and Dom’s serving out punishments if their subs don’t do as they’re told. For most, but not all, this includes spankings, bondage, or withholding of some privilege, including sex.

That’s not how I roll, for several reasons. For one thing, I don’t like to punish. I’m still not sure it teaches anything; it certainly never taught me anything. All it did was make me more belligerent. I prefer positive reinforcement in all my dealings—even when I raised my children. That’s how I approach my relationship with my sub as well. I find that he responds much better to being shown what he’s done right, what he’s done wrong, and how he can do something better the next time.

Balancing Who I Am with Who I Need to Be by DC Juris

Though I’m a switch in everyday life, in the business world, I’m strictly a Dom. I know what needs to be achieved, how to do it, and I get it done. Period. Others do not bully me—I’m a salesperson’s nightmare. I can’t be talked into products and services, no matter how many cute, fluffy animals they put in front of me, or how many scare tactics they use, or how many extras they offer me. I don’t cut corners. I’m fast, straight forward, and efficient.

I have the work history to prove it. In every office I’ve worked, I’ve gone from absolute bottom run to management in less than three years. For two of those companies, my success was literally unheard of. I come from a background of no nonsense, rule following business people—focused solely on making money and thriving.

Now, however, I find myself in a much different situation. My current employer is rather passive aggressive and non-confrontational. She’d rather make comments behind your back than deal with something head on. She lacks any real business sense, but cannot understand why the place is not as successful as it could be. As it should be.

You might think someone like her would be easy for someone like me to deal with. After all, I clearly have the more dominant personality, and I’m clearly the more aggressive of the two of us. Should be easy for me to steamroll right over her, eh? But you’d be wrong. I spend a lot of my time having to carefully pick and chose my words, because if things aren’t phrased just right, progress bogs in the face of a temper tantrum. The best way to get things done is to make the boss feel like the idea was hers from the beginning. That can be pretty tricky, and exhausting.