Sometimes, only a thin line separates BDSM from abuse in a relationship. Especially online, you find people who claim that their “naturally dominant” personalities entitle them to demand submission of others: to take ownership of mind, body and soul. The only thing creepier than Dominants who profess their superiority are the submissives who offer themselves up for this sort of abuse.
True, many submissives simply echo the erotic fantasies that haunt them, reciting the words they’ve seen others type. Most shun real-time opportunities. Although a few may go so far as to present themselves for service, reality and pain soon send them back to the comfort of their online world. But some actually put themselves in the hands of the those who have no education, little experience, and less understanding of the responsibilities that come with accepting someone’s submission.
I especially worry about the submissives who have low (or no) self-esteem, who think enslavement will solve their vanilla-world problems, who make decisions based on the reaction between their legs instead of the one between their ears. They get damaged — emotionally, physically, and financially.
“I am dominant by nature and like to be in control,” more than one profile claims. They makes no reference to experience, knowledge or caring for a submissive. “I am a True Master seeking a true sub/slave to serve Me,” another common declaration. Exactly what does that mean?
BDSM organizations have defined abuse as: “Physical, sexual or emotional acts inflicted on a person without their informed and freely given consent.”
“How do you identify?” is a loaded question, no matter who’s asking. The query can refer to your gender, sexual orientation, or role in the BDSM lifestyle. In all cases, binary or even ternary systems leave many people out and can create a great deal of confusion, especially online.